Change is a natural process for human evolution. Without it, we feel trapped and stagnant. However necessary, change often feels hard and painful. I left my hometown (Brasil) at 7 years old and went on to live in China, France and now the U.S. and although it served me in many ways and contributed to my development, at the time, leaving something I knew felt painful.
From what I experienced in each country, I can say that the hardest part about change is acceptance. Acceptance to the intuitive feeling we get when we know we’re ready for a change but something keeps holding us back from taking a leap because we’re so comfortable where we’re at already.
Whenever we begin to feel that our current life or situation isn’t feeling ‘right’ anymore, accepting that very fact is the hardest part. But why? Because we have a contradictory way of processing risk - a primitive system and a more advanced analytic system – and they're operating in parallel. Let’s break it down.
The primitive system deals with the amygdala, a part of the brain that assesses risk and is responsible for processing our emotions like anger, avoidance, defensiveness and fear. It's an old part of the brain, and seems to have originated in early fish. The more advanced analytic system deals with the neocortex, a part of the brain that is responsible for handling things such as language, conscious thoughts and decision making. When faced with danger, the primitive system goes into flight or fight mode, secreting stress hormones while the analytic system is trying to fight against it so that it can bring you back to balance. This tells us that our brain is in conflict and therefore our desires and decision making will be in conflict too.
So many of my clients go through this, including myself. We beat ourselves up for taking so long to change, we try to reason with why change is hard and we definitely try to find ways to sometimes avoid it. And while those ways of approaching change are not necessarily best practice, we have to give ourselves some grace. After all, we have a human brain and we’re living a human experience. It’s not always a black and white situation, change takes time to accept.
Over the last 3 months, I disconnected from social media entirely. I needed to shed the old, grow from my past self and soak in the my direction of business. I gave myself the time I needed to accept that this direction of becoming a Breathwork/Intuitive Advisor was always meant to be. I neglected this for almost a full year in order to stay comfortable with what I already “knew” and what I was already successful in. But the thing about continuing to stay somewhere you are comfortable with and sticking to things you already “know” is that you become stuck. You feel like a candy machine on autopilot, stick in the coin and here comes the candy, pop in the coin and candy comes out over and over again with no real growth and expansion which are major “musts” if we want to evolve into everything we desire to be/have in life.
After taking inventory of how I felt in each one of my life changes, I came up with a process for navigating each step towards change. If you’re faced with something similar or are being pulled towards a change, use this to help you navigate it with ease.
Initial feeling of DISCORD, ex: “What I want is not what I’m currently living.”
How to navigate the path: observe your thoughts and emotions. In particular, what is your intuition saying? Try to stay in observance for a week and jot down thoughts and emotions as they come up along with the specific event that may have triggered it. I.e “Walking into the office this morning made me feel empty”
Then we move into the IDENTIFYING the root cause of discord.
How to navigate the path: Once you feel like these emotions and feelings are recurring regularly in your life, you can begin to spot the triggers that are causing you to feel a certain way. I.e ”it’s already been several months that I feel empty whenever I get to the office. (the trigger here is walking in the office). It seems like what I’m not enjoying is the work I do because I don’t feel happy doing it, I’m always thinking about what else I could be doing. (the root cause of this issue is that you yearn to do something else with your professional career). There are
After a grace period we come into ACCEPTANCE, “I know realize this feeling is a real problem and I’m not hiding it under the rug anymore.”
How to navigate the path: once you have allowed yourself to feel your thoughts and emotions for a while, you’re going to reach the acceptance stage. This will probably be the hardest part but you will get there. During this stage, take time for self-care. I’ve been taking rose salt baths for 1 hour every other day, reading spiritual books, lighting candles for my guides/spirits to be near me in this vulnerable moment and
Then we move into EMBODYING the change we desire.
How to navigate the path: begin by brainstorming or journaling what your ideal desired situation is. Start to visualize yourself acting, speaking and doing what you desire.
Lastly, we start MOVING in the direction we desire.
How to navigate the path: once you’ve gotten clear on the ideal situation, begin by asking “What is the very next step I need to take in order to make this my reality?”